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I was listening to the radio station KLOVE today as I was driving and heard a Christian singer talk about a time in his life when he was de...

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

When Ugliness Comes To Call

After a few stints in either Charter Hospital or another hospital’s psych ward—I needed to get our daughter enrolled in a daycare so I could have the mornings to myself.  If I got too stressed then I would get overwhelmed too much.  So, the brief reprieve with having my daughter in daycare in the mornings helped me a lot.  We decided on a co-op daycare where the parents would help 2-4 times during a semester.  This is what we could afford at the time.  And I was concentrating on getting well in between hospital stays, so it was important for me to have some quiet time during the days when my husband had to work.

About a few months in to having her attend this daycare-I talked with the teacher who also had a daughter about the same age in the class.  My daughter was about 3 years old at the time.  So I mentioned to the teacher about my depression and probably something to the effect of how helpful it is for me to have her come there.  She was nice and seemed understanding.  But she did say something about needing to mention it to the board which I thought was odd.

That same day, a parent who is on the board called me at home and asked me a horribly intrusive question based on whatever she was told by the teacher.  I was in absolute shock I didn’t know how to respond.  The severity could almost be compared, for example, to sending your daughter to school with a small scratch on her knee and a school board member calling to ask if you tried to kill your daughter by throwing her down the stairs!  I was in such mental anguish over that—cried and cried.  So, the next day, I took my mother with me and put Sarah in daycare that day long enough for me to talk to the teacher and leave for good.  I told the teacher what happened.  I asked her what she had said.  I was crying and told her that what this taught me was to keep my mouth shut.  We withdrew her from that place that day.  Within a very short time, I had found a new Christian daycare that was opening at a church that turned out to be such a blessing in so many ways.  My daughter stayed there until it was time for her to ‘graduate’ before heading off to kindergarten.  God’s always got something lined up right around the corner.

You may come face to face with ugliness over your depressions issues—and maybe even get an ugly phone call like I did.  Be careful who you tell outside your trusted friends because sometimes your issues can be seen as a threat in some horrible way that doesn’t exist.  Not everyone is accepting of mental illness.  And we have to keep taking care of ourselves, using wisdom and discernment in what and who we tell.  Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying to live in fear and not tell people what you need to get the help you need.  Just pray before doing it and see how the Lord leads you in that area.  Reading Psalm 91 ALWAYS makes me feel better.  This is one of my favorites and I found it as a new Christian whenever I would battle fear and sadness:

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.  I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.  Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.  He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.  Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day; Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.” (Psalm 91:1-6 KJV; emphasis via Bible text).