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Saturday, March 19, 2016

Journal Series: Part 2-March-May 2001

Below is a continuation of the Journal Series of my mental health updates.  This entry covers March 2001 through May 2001.  My actual words from then will always be in italics for this series.

Update for March 2001:
Things are going well staying at home and with my daughter.  I have already seen a difference in her (she's calmer and clingier) and myself.  I don't become so anxious thinking of taking care of her each day even though some days are better than others.  I am actually getting more rest than I ever did every day.  One problem is that staying home can sometimes make me lose track of what day it is and the weekends feel like week days.  That's just because my husband's schedule is so harry and changes often.

I now can fully see my daughter develop in ways I had not seen before because I had missed a lot of her 'firsts'.  Often during the day, I pause just to stare at her in wonderment--her mannerisms, expressions and things she says.

Please note:  I do not want any mothers reading this who cannot financially be at home with their children to feel like I am saying you have to be a stay-at-home mom.  Remember, I was once a full-time working mother.  I had a friend who honestly did not want to stay home with her kids because she was very career-driven and liked what she did.  She still was an important part of her children's lives and their Christian development.  God will let you know what is best for your situation.  And pray, pray, pray if you want to stay home.  This is a major praise report for me and it took over 2 1/2 years to have it answered.  But it sure happened in a way I never expected.  That's God for you :-)  I HAVE TO ADD HERE.....that my family could not have made it financially with me having to quit work had it not been for my father's voluntary generosity.  It will end, though in the near future.

Update for April 2001:
Life is good for me since making the transition to stay at home full-time.  My husband and other family members notice the positive change in me and in our daughter.  I truly do feel that this was the best thing I could have ever done for myself and for my daughter.  I recently read somewhere that 65% of the population who have OCD do not work.  That did not surprise me.  But you can have OCD symptoms that are not so debilitating that it keeps you from being able to function fully in a job.  Some of my family have very definite symptoms, but it does not affect their emotional make-up in a way that interrupts their life......although they do take anti-depressants, but at a very low dosage. 

Update for May 2001:

Although the month is almost over.  I think it is helpful to share my 'treatment' with the internet audience on a regular basis so that it may help someone who is going through the same thing and feels hopeless about their situation.  I am doing fine.  I am actually much more relaxed and feel more in control.  Right now, the medication levels seem to be working for me.  I love to receive emails telling me how much people have enjoyed the site or how much it helped them.  I created the site to glorify God in this area.  To let the mentally ill know they are counted and noticed.  To express and hopefully succeed at sharing my care for you and those you may know.  I do not have to know you personally to care about you.  But I do care.  Lately, you may have seen commercials on television sponsored by pharmaceutical drug companies about the appreciation a former patient feels that a particular medication was available for them to use and how it helped them in fighting a disease, such as breast cancer.  We ARE really blessed we live in an era where advanced medications have been developed and made available to the mentally ill.  I cannot imagine living with a mental illness and really feeling no way out. 

I love to learn about famous or non-famous people and what makes them tick.....learning about how their past made them into what they are today or by the end of their life.  It has amazed me over time how many actors (present and past) who had manic depression or clinical depression--something.  Sometimes their parents had it--I've seen this a lot.  Because I am 'looking' for it more closely it does seem more common these days to hear about in someone's past.  To name a few:  Vivien Leigh (from Gone With The Wind) and Margot Kidder (from first Superman movie), Owen Wilson, Jon Hamm, Winona Ryder, Angelina Jolie, and Ben Stiller (see above right).  I think it would be safe to assume that Howard Hughes had OCD in a major way toward the end of his life. We have all seen the rise of actors or other famous people coming forward and saying, 'This is what I have and I'm dealing with it.'  I appreciate it because it brings depression, manic depression (bi-polar), OCD out of its closet by educating the general audience and taking the fear out of it for those who do not have mental illness.  These stars do not have to bare their souls regarding depression, but chose to in order to help others who deal with it.  It gives them hope, which is what this site is all about.